beehammer

(archived from tumblr)

I know everybody in the DC fandom likes to bag on Gotham like “Why would anyone still live in a town that gets gassed by a clown once a month and has to dodge an entire colony of man-bats and probably has to measure crime rates in terms of how many people made it home from the office without getting mugged or stabbed this week?”

And this is a completely valid question, because like this is a city that thought stuffing their aged police commissioner in a robot and saying “This is the Batman now” was a reasonable response to losing their normal unlicensed vigilante.

But then we live in America and have like

Donald Trump legitimately running for president
clowns hiding in the shrubs is a nationwide thing and the police would like to remind you that it’s probably not legal to shoot them
Flint is probably a month away from having a cholera outbreak
Florida’s being overrun by giant pythons, and someone's actual-facts solution was to put a bound on dead pythons, at which point a state herpetologist had to explain why it was a bad idea to encourage random citizens to go fight massive apex predators in the swamp.
the justice department is trying to figure out how many people the police face-shoot to death every year and it turns out that’s not something anyone keeps records on
every big city has that one hospital where you don’t go if you can help it because you could legit die in the ER waiting room and the janitor will just mop around your corpse
California’s always both on fire and under water, somehow
the news is like “hurricanes as a zika-fighting strategy: what could go wrong?”
Georgia has an entire police department that doesn’t seem to do anything but have cybersex with pedophiles
civil forfeiture is a thing
the number of times people get shot with arrows in this country every year is genuinely astonishing
Texas just blows the fuck up every so often because EPA and OSHA regs are for commies
Worse Virginia’s been on fire for a century in some places because samesies
like six people got shot (with guns) in one day in Minneapolis and their unanimous response to police was “fuck off I’m not a snitch”

and everybody’s still like “lol love it or leave it buddy."