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beehammerBogue: I need an army.
Posse Depot clerk: Okay. Purpose of the army?
Bogue: For...normal army things. You know, just perfectly ordinary, army purposes.
Posse Depot clerk: Oooookay. Do you maybe just need the Army, then?
Bogue: No. Absolutely not. It would be terrible if the actual Army showed up.
Posse Depot clerk: So you need an army, and definitely not the Army, for perfectly legitimate and normal reasons.
Bogue: Yes. I need an army to accompany me on a three-day ride to the middle of nowhere and do legitimate, completely legal army things there.
Posse Depot clerk: Sounds good, please sign here.
Cut for: Continuity. An earlier re-write clearly shows Bogue delegating this task.
Townsfolk: You can’t do this! These are our homes! This is our land!
Denali: Oh, suddenly there’s a problem with forcibly relocating entire communities with little to no compensation for lost property or livelihood and no concern for the well-being of those displaced? That’s a thing we take exception to, now?
Townsfolk: ...
Bogue: ...
Hired goons: ...
[credits roll after forty minutes of increasingly awkward silence]
Cut for: Time.
Bogue: Hello, good morning, I need another army.
Posse Depot clerk: Wait, another army? What’d you do with the last one?
Bogue: No, sorry, I misspoke. I need an army. My first army. Ha ha, what a slip of the tongue, who even needs two armies.
Posse Depot clerk: No, I think I remember you now. Bartholomew Bogue, wasn’t it?
Bogue: No, no, you’re thinking of my brother. He hired an army here a week ago. He said this place was great, and that he was very happy with the army he got here, and they’re definitely still all riding around somewhere and positively not blown to bits by a weird pack of outlaws. I’m...Shmartholomew Shmogue.
Posse Depot clerk: If you’re brothers, why’s your last name different?
Bogue: Um. The doctor who filed my birth certificate was very drunk. But we’re definitely brothers, and this is definitely my first army.
Posse Depot clerk: I’m charging you a deposit this time.
Cut for: Continuity. This scene was shot before script revisions calling for Bogue to be killed on-screen during the climax were adopted.
Denali: *laughing to himself*
Bogue: What’s so funny?
Denali: You know how you asked me how I got so many men for so cheap, and I said ask me later?
Bogue: Yeah.
Denali: I told them all we were going to Six Flags.
Bogue: Well, that’s just mean.
Denali: *laughs louder* I told them all they could go on El Diablo, even if they had a bunch of corndogs first.
Bogue: Jesus, Denali.
Denali: They’re going to be so mad when they find out the truth. Those townsfolk don’t stand a chance.
Cut for: Characterization; historical inaccuracy. As much as a large band of frontier mercenaries would have doubtless enjoyed them, corndogs were not invented until the 1940s.
A prolonged argument between Chris Pratt and Denzel Washington over a scene in which Chisolm is supposed to do Red Harvest’s warpaint for him.
Denzel swore never to lift a brush again after an incident in college and proposes the scene be rewritten to replace Chisolm with Faraday, but Chris feels his fifteen years of semi-professional watercolor painting is less important to the potential revision than Faraday’s lack of emotional connection with Red Harvest.
Martin Sensmeier is asked for his opinion on the issue, but he pretends not to hear them and continues to eat his lunch as if the argument is not happening. Chris claims that this is because Martin agrees with him, and Denzel says that after this display he regrets defending Chris’s character when he was ranked least trustworthy of all the Marvel Chrises.
Matt Bomer, back on set for a last-minute reshoot, suggests avoiding the scene entirely by hanging several very clean mirrors around the town to make it clear to the audience that Red Harvest can do his own warpaint, no matter how out of hand the make-up artists’ one-upmanship of each other gets.
Denzel apologizes for what he said about Chris, and Chris appears to accept the apology but is still obviously hurt. Martin covers the ensuing tension by opening a bag of sunchips and eating them very slowly.
Cut for: Quality. The argument was surreptitiously filmed by Vincent D’Onofrio on his cell phone while he pretended to be texting Ayelet Zurer about whether she’d bring her new dog on set for him to meet when Daredevil starts filming again, and is consequently poorly lit and badly shot and features no mic dampening once the sunchips are in play. It will, however, be included as an extra on the blu-ray release.
